Rise Up and Cash In

Tess sent me these two horoscopes last month and I had meant to post them here (perfectly timed as they were). I'm on the cusp, if you're wondering. The highlights are hers ;)

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Robert Downey Jr. is grateful to Burger King
for serving him such gross food. After eating a particularly foul meal there
in 2003, he told *Empire* magazine, he was so disgusted that he drove
to the beach and hurled all of his drugs into the sea. It was the shock he
needed to begin the process of kicking his addiction. In that spirit,
Scorpio, I suggest you seek out a similar epiphany -- whether that
involves an encounter with greasy, fried cow meat or some other
phenomenon that triggers your urge to rise up and purify yourself.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): It's a seller's market for you, Sagittarius.
If I were you, I wouldn't buy a bunch of new stuff or invest in unripe
possibilities. Rather, I'd cash in on the hard work I've been doing for many
months now. I'd quit while I was ahead. I'd liquefy assets that might soon
decline in their value to me but that are still at the height of their value to
other people. In order for you to summon the brisk confidence necessary
to pull this off, you'll have to resist greedy temptations to hold on to
everything a little while longer.