"Special Friend"

I wrote this letter when I was barely seventeen to the Human Resources department of the surf/skate chain I was working for. Reading it now, I can't believe I was that savvy at that age. I had been advised by an older friend about a few key words to use, but it is entirely my writing. I can certainly see my strategy laid out in the first sentence, and I knew that taking this step would result in action being taken. In fact, the day after this letter was faxed an HR representative was flown from California to Seattle and was in our store.

This copy (saved in a blog from 2004 when I was recovering some documents off my parent's old computer) seems to be unfinished and has notes at the bottom. I am also noting that any details specifically relating to her harassment of me specifically have been left out. I also left out that David was the Armored Transport guy - the guy who comes and takes the money from the store. I'm pretty sure I still didn't want to get her fired, and couldn't bear to try and hash out the details of that harassment to a complete stranger. I was just a kid. I was hurt and confused and embarrassed.

It took me a looong time to get up the nerve to take things to this official level, and looking back I wish I had had less sympathy for my harasser and that I had used the tools available to me when they were appropriate. I feel very similarly now in dealing with Karl and Tricia, with the same hesitancy to take it to an "official" level. The only thing giving me confidence is the assurance of a number of trustworthy, reliable friends and advisors that to do so would be appropriate, and my own feeling that this previous example should have been my lesson learned. They did not find me randomly through craigslist, they specifically contacted me professor-to-student to form this outside relationship which none of us should have engaged in in the first place. They were in positions of power over me, and have now shown themselves to be strategically exploiting my willingness, and indeed eagerness, to work with them on this outside project. I, however, am not devoid of rights in this situation. It seems necessary to act to protect those rights.

But I digress...

My basic concern is in preserving the feeling of a fun, customer-service oriented,
and above all, professional atmosphere in our store. I have been with this company for nearly one full year, and thoroughly enjoy my job; however, recently our store manager (Kat) has introduced ongoing issues which I believe are detracting from the store's atmosphere and employee morale. The two matters which I believe are most pressing are: inappropriate work behavior and retaliation. It is impossible for sales associates and assistant managers to continue functioning within the guidelines set by our company if we fear retaliation or do not have proper examples set.

Kat's inapropriate work behavior makes most workers uncomfortable. She freely
shares information regarding an extramarital affair with a person named David (who she generally refers to as her "special friend"), and makes no discrimination between sales associates or management when disclosing such information. Several employees with whom I associate with have specifically stated to me that they are uneasy with Kat's sharing; however, would never speak to her directly about it, for fear of retaliation. (i.e., cut hours, shifts at times or in zones they dislike, constant reprimand or disapproval). I personally have overheard several conversations between Kat and other employees, as well as some phone conversations, right on the selling floor. Kat is not at all a quiet person, and I have heard some of these conversations from the cash/wrap to the back of the store, with no effort at all on my part. It's perfectly conceivable that customers could easily have heard the same things that I did.

Some conversations I heard were sexually explicit in nature. They were not
generally directly explicit, but held clear and definite implications. I also answered five or six prank calls from Kat's "special friend", who admitted his name at the end of one. Alcohol was another common topic. Since there was only one other person of legal drinking age (Sarah, who recently left the company), it was not unusual for them to go out to bars and clubs together, and later discuss the events at work. It was at this point that I felt our store became somewhat of a personal crisis center. Kat came into or called the store on days off to talk to Sarah while Sarah was on the clock. Personal messages and phone calls were received on a daily basis, with no work relevence. She began coming into the store with David on their days off together (Mondays, everyone knows) and he was mistaken for her husband by a new person. At that point, I as a fellow sales associate, was put in a very awkward position. As a store, we all came to know more and more about David- what he drives, his girlfriend's name, where he lives, who exactly he works for,
when and how they meet, and more details than anyone is proud to know- for the most part we learned it on paid time. During this entire time, I am hearing more and more of our staff begin to say disrespectful things about Kat, and have been witnessing the general decline of respect for her as a manager as well. Nobody is sure of the correct action to take, and everyone is convinced that they will be retaliated against.

In regards to retaliation, Kat is difficult to work with because no one knows what to
expect. She can also be passive one moment, and aggressive the next. She expresses
coldness and dissatisfaction through nonverbal communication that includes glaring or frowning. If she's upset or angry for any reason, even if it's not with the employee
specifically, her tone of voice implies that she is. "What did I do?!" is a common question at Store 174. Employees have learned to avoid asking questions of her because she often looks at us as though we are absurd or acts impatient when she feels the answer is obvious or the question is invalid. In my opinion, we experience retaliation for trivial matters, or based on Kat's assumptions, on almost a daily basis. An example of petty retaliation would be to give an employee the "cold shoulder" for accidentally muddling a transaction, and asking for void permission. She'll help you, and sign the void slip, but you risk her great irritation for the rest of your shift.

discretion

We know his name, his girlfriend's name, where he works, what kind of car he drives
kind of speaking for most the rest of the staff as well, because no one else either understands what HR is or does, or is afraid to call.

David used to prank call the store

sometimes the store was empty, but
that sometimes there were customers around, and since Kat is not at all quiet...it's perfectly conceivable they could have heard her LOUD and clear. I made it obvious that Kat is not AT ALL quiet in anything she does, and I specifically pointed out that I can hear her from the cashwrap to the jean wall, and that I have also heard her right through the fitting room walls.

she distracted sales associates on the floor by discussing it with them, and that they secretly told me they NEVER wanted to know about it, and it made them uncomfortable. (Santi and Jenna.)

Sarah, that she was the only one old enough for Kat to drink legally with, so they always hung out. And that she'd call or come into the store crying and wanting to talk to Sarah, and actually took her off the floor for it.

Mondays are her and David's day off together


how it's effecting
> the staff ,morale, or her
> role as a manager.

He comes into the store and picks her up from work, they've come in shopping on their day off and she's hanging all over him like she's married to him. The new girl thought he was Mike.
What do we say to that?

"special friend"